Hell No to the Mistletoe!
by Lena-luvs-cats
Summary: Modern AU. In which Kanda is not one for public displays of affection so he actively tries to avoid the dreaded plant known as the mistletoe. Let's see what Allen and co. can do about that. Yullen Oneshot. Rated T for Kanda's mouth.


**How's it going everybody? I'm back with another Yullen oneshot, and I hope y'all enjoy it! Oh and happy holidays as well! Whatever, onto the story!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray man.**

 **Et voilà!**

* * *

Hell No to the Mistletoe!

It was another shitty morning Yuu Kanda awoke to. He glared at the thick, white blanket that was outside the bedroom window. Oh how he hated winter, it was way too fucking cold. Mother Nature could go fuck herself for all he cared, since she made this accursed season. He no longer threw his alarm clock out the window, since there were no more birds to shut up and doing so would let all the cold air in.

He grudgingly got up from bed and dressed himself, paying no mind to his absent lover, for he was probably already up, making breakfast for them, as usual. He left the bedroom and went downstairs. Tinsel lined the halls, courtesy of his lover and his insistence to embrace the holiday spirit. Kanda heard some cheerful humming from the kitchen.

The albino known as Allen, as well as Kanda's lover, donned a holiday apron which had a pretty array of mistletoe and candy canes on the front and was currently humming 'Winter Wonderland'. He had a smile on his face when he turned and saw Kanda. "Oh! Kanda! Breakfast will be ready in five. I've made a nice, hot stew!"

"Okay." Kanda hummed as he began brewing a pot of tea for themselves. They set the table and breakfast was served.

"This should keep you warm enough to ward away that grumpy, irritable self of yours for a little bit." Allen grinned cheekily.

"Che." Kanda didn't even bother to deny any more. It was already mid-December, with a foot of white, fluffy snow outside, and he did indeed get pretty snappy in all the cold. Allen chuckled from across from him.

They finished their breakfast and Kanda went to wash the dishes. As he did so, he saw Allen withdraw a candy cane from the pocket of his apron. He dried his hands and looked at his lover disapprovingly. "You shouldn't eat sweets right after a meal, beansprout."

"It's Allen you idiot!" he whined. "And it's not like it's all that unhealthy. It's just peppermint, and it's not like I binge eat them like Road and Skin who do so on a daily basis." They both felt a little sick in the stomach at the thought. "Anyways, you should try one." He withdrew another candy cane from his apron pocket. Did he have a stash in there?

Kanda shook his head. "You know I don't like sweets" He got up to start getting ready for work. He went back upstairs to put on his police uniform and to grab Mugen. As he came down the stairs, his lover called out to him.

"Oh Kanda~" He looked over to where the albino had called from. He was underneath the doorway from the dining room to the living room.

"What?" Allen grinned and pointed up. There was a small mistletoe hanging there. He let out a huff. "I don't need some dumb plant to tell when to kiss my beansprout." And he made his way over, and the couple shared a brief kiss. As they parted, Kanda licked his lips, the taste of peppermint was still present from Allen's mouth. "Hmm, you know what? I take back what I said earlier. The only sweet I like is you." He chuckled as his lover stuttered.

"A-ah! Wha?..." Allen's face was painted pink, which made him all the more cuter. He had still not gotten his bearings back as Kanda was leaving.

"I'm off, 'sprout!" he called from over his shoulder as he closed the door. Allen stood there gaping at the door for a couple of minutes, before realizing something.

"O-oh no! Kanda forgot his lunch!"

* * *

Kanda entered the police department to face another day full of idiots. Like always, an eccentric redhead was soon there to greet him. "YUU!" His attempt at glomping the Japanese officer was parred with Mugen to the throat.

"Damned. Rabbit." Kanda glared so deep into the redhead's eyes one could swear it reached the depth of his soul.

"Heheh… C'mon now, don't be like that, where's your holiday spirit?..." The readhead's happy-go-lucky response faltered. The tension was broken with a clipboard meeting Kanda's head.

"Good morning, Kanda, Lavi." The perpetrator was a young Chinese woman with long, twin pigtails. If one looked closely, they could see that her hair bands had little mistletoe ornaments on them. She was currently smiling angelically, but her aura implied otherwise. Kanda removed his sword from Lavi's neck.

"Che."

"Morning, Lenalee!" Lavi had recovered from his daily morning trauma. The dark aura around Lenalee had disappeared.

"By the way, Lavi, Bookman needs you back in the forensic investigation office. He says you've been slacking off too much lately." At this Lavi visibly deflated.

"Aww, that old panda. He never gives me a break, even during the holidays!" The childish man gave a pout and put up a rebellious front. "Like hell I'd listen to him!" Lavi continued to rant on about how he could do whatever he wanted now, and about how the panda had no power over him. Kanda and Lenalee both sighed, and started walking down the hall with him. That is, until Kanda stiffened and stopped.

"What's up, Yuu?" asked Lavi. Both he and Lenalee had turned around to look at Kanda.

"Che." Kanda was glaring at something past them. "…I'll go a different route." Then he turned around and stalked in the other direction. Lavi and Lenalee were left very confused, but shrugged it off, continuing through a doorway.

Meanwhile, Kanda was busy muttering to himself. "Fuck. I hate the holiday season. It's the same every year. Why must there be that accursed plant?!" Said plant was the mistletoe, and unfortunately for him, a majority of the doors in the police department had one hanging from them, so it took him a while to actually get to his office.

* * *

It was now nearing noon, and Kanda was making his way to the lounge, darting quickly through the mistletoe-bearing doorway when nobody was looking. It was only then did he realize that he had no lunch. No biggie, he was pretty sure there were some instant noodle cups in the cupboards, so he would just make do with that. He was making his way over there when a familiar, chipper voice sounded from behind him.

"Oh Kanda!~" he turned around. There, at the door, he saw his lover waving his hand at him with his bagged lunch in his hand. "I've brought you your lunch!" From across the lounge, Lavi called out.

"Aw how sweet! The 'sprout brought his hubby his lunch!" Lenalee, who sat beside him, agreed and nodded.

"Hello guys! How's it been for you all?" said Allen.

Lenalee replied, "It's been great here, Allen. We haven't seen you in a bit, you should come visit more often!"

Lavi piped in, "Yeah! You cheer up the grumpy Yuu and the whole place just lightens up!" A fork suddenly embedded itself into the back on the couch right near Lavi's head. They all looked at Kanda.

"Kanda!" scolded Allen. Kanda had an indifferent face.

"Oops."

"Sheesh just come and get your lunch already." Kanda got up and began to make his way over and halted after three steps. Allen grinned cheekily as he looked up at the plant hanging above him from the door.

"Beansprout. Hand me my lunch."

"Nope!" Allen popped the 'p'. "You're not getting anything until you come here and give me a kiss!" Kanda did not move.

"Shame on you Kanda!" booed Lavi. "Rejecting the little angel like that! Don't worry, Allen, I'll grant your wish!" In a flash, Lavi sprinted towards the saint under the mistletoe, ready to give a big smooch, but was only met with air. "Aww Yuu, you're no fun!"

Behind him Kanda had Allen held protectively in his arms, the albino still a bit confused at the sudden teleportation. His face grew a wide grin. "Hoh~ that's right. Kanda's shy in public!" Everyone in the room burst out in light giggles, but soon ceased at the lightly blushing Kanda, who had quite the dark aura around him.

"Beansprout." he grit out. "You don't want me to show them that picture, do you? The one where you're in a m–"

"Uwaaaahhhh!" Oh how the tables had turned. "No, no, no, nonono, noooooooo!" Allen had fled the lounge, dragging the smirking Japanese out with him. Lavi, Lenalee, and all the other people in the room were left confused and curious as they heard Allen's echoing cries of "Abstinence! Abstinence! I pledge my abstinence! Never again!" through the halls.

* * *

Dinner at the Walker-Kanda household was tense that evening. Allen was trying his hardest at ignoring his lover, though deep inside, he knew he wasn't going to win this, for Kanda had a much longer patience with him than one would think. Across from him, Kanda was eating his teriyaki chicken dish as if everything was normal. He was the first to break the silence. "You're going to have to speak to me at some point."

Allen emitted a childish "Hmph!" as he turned away from the man. Kanda sighed. So they finished their dinner whose conversations consisted of him trying to start one and the other just making grunting noises. That was alright, because Kanda had a lot of patience for this, and he would rise victorious.

They went to the living and reclined in their chairs. They paid no mind to each other as they both did their own little thing to occupy himself. Kanda read his book while Allen did who knows what. After a while Allen finally spoke to him.

"Kanda." He looked up from his book, expecting for this silly dispute to be over with him victorious, but instead got a box and a cylinder dumped in his lap. "Wrap these." He looked back up at his lover, one eyebrow raised. " _As one present_." He was handed the needed wrapping paper, tape, and scissors, before the albino left the room. Kanda looked back down at the contents in his lap.

' _Oh hell no. You did not just do that.'_ he thought, before embarking onto the near impossible task of wrapping this present.

* * *

Plenty of rage-quitting and one finally wrapped present later, Kanda flopped into bed, Allen already being there. He rolled over, and pulled his lover into his chest. He didn't protest, which meant he had already forgiven him enough to allow contact. "Hey Allen, who was that present for?" Kanda murmured into his neck.

"We're doing a secret Santa at Neah's music studio." It seemed he was talking to him now as well, that was a good sign. They stayed there, in each other's embrace and the warmth was slowly lulling them asleep.

Kanda was almost asleep when Allen's soft voice got his attention. "Kanda?"

"Hm?" was his sleepy reply.

"Tomorrow, you're going gift shopping with me and Road at the mall."

"Hm." It was so warm, and he was succumbing to the darkness. ' _Wait. Hold up. No. No, no, nononono…'_ and he was off to his dreams.

* * *

That was how Kanda found himself lugging an innumerable amount of bags in his arms through the mall beside two carol-humming people the next day. "Thanks for helping me shop, Allen!~" came the sweet voice of Allen's cousin, Road Kamelot. In her own arms was at least another half-dozen of bags full of sweets alone.

"Oh, anytime! You know I'll help whenever you need it. Plus, we have the mighty Kanda to carry all the heavy stuff." Indeed, Kanda was strong. But even he was struggling with this load. What was worse was that the two were totally ignoring him, save for when they gave him more bags! Fuck, this was _not_ how he had wanted to spend his weekend. He was to himself as he muttered angrily under his breath. "Ne, Kanda?"

He raised his head to look at his lover, but alas, the pile of bags in his arms blocked his view. "What?"

"You can set the bags over there, we're taking a little break." Allen's voice was way too sweet to mean any good, and Kanda knew he was planning something.

"Che. About time, beansprout." But relieved to finally be able to rest his arms, he dropped the bags onto the ground roughly.

"H-hey! There are some fragile things in there! Allen, tell your husband to be more careful!" Road fretted, in which Allen pulled Kanda's ear in response, much to his dismay.

As they settled, it dawned on Kanda that they were in the food court. It was also already nearing noon. "Okay! We're gonna eat now. Road and I'll go order, while you stay here to watch the bags. Got any particular food in mind?"

"Soba."

"Got it." Kanda watched as the two relatives chatted animatedly as they walked off to order. He sighed. Maybe he shouldn't have tried blackmailing the beansprout yesterday. This was his way of punishing him.

' _It's not like I'd actually reveal that photo to anybody. That is a side of Allen only I've ever seen, and it is only for me to see.'_ he thought, as he looked at the home screen on his phone. A small quirky smile escaped its way onto his face.

He quickly put his phone away as Road and Allen returned, the albino beside him, and his cousin across. A bowl of hot soba was put in of him. Road had an ice cream-shake, and Allen had five trays of various types of food. How typical of him.

Unbeknownst to Kanda, a figure dressed in a Santa costume snuck up to the table behind them, a mini fishing-pole in hand with a little mistletoe at the end. He cast the line so it hanged above the young couple, and in a loud voice called out, "Mistletoe! Now kiss!" Everybody's eyes were now on them.

Kanda was frozen, a light shade of pink on his cheeks. Bothe Allen and Road were leering at him, as if they had known this was going to happen. Allen turned to face Kanda and lifted his head for his expected kiss. Except that's not what Kanda did. Instead he had got up and faced the jolly ol' perpetrator. Among the beard and Santa hat, the only visible green eye widened before he himself scrambled to get away.

"A-ah! Wait, Kanda!" Allen and Road both got up and tackled the angry Japanese man before he could chase the Santa very far. The Santa fled the food court. The audience around them was rather disappointed at the lack of PDA, and quickly lost their interest. Kanda, however did not.

"You! You knew about this!" he accused.

"Hoh? We don't know what you're talking about." the two cousins spoke in unison, their eyes sparkling and smiling angelically. Kanda was not going to win this argument.

"Che!"

They just giggled. "Hehe… Now that we're done our lunch, we should put our bags in the car. Then we can go shop for ourselves, now that gifts are out of the way!" Allen beamed.

"What? More shopping? Why the fuck do you still need to shop?! At least don't drag me along!" Kanda was not dealing with anymore of this.

"Mnn. How about no." Wow, how very blunt of Allen. "But cheer up Kanda, I wanna get you something, too! Please, for me?" Shit, not the puppy eyes!

The man sighed. "Fine."

"Yay!" Allen hugged his lover around the waist, bringing a light blush to his face when a couple of bystanders 'aww'ed at the sight. The albino grabbed some bags and skipped away. Road and Kanda quickly followed suite.

* * *

They reentered the mall, arms now free of bags. Allen and Road were both enjoying a candy cane, despite Kanda's dissent. They resumed their carol-humming. As they passed a shop, something must've caught Road's eye, for she dragged them into the shop. "Ooh~ They're all so cute!" she squealed.

They looked around. It was a small accessory shop. Ribbons, pins, and clips lined the shelves, and there were special holiday themed ones. "Look, Allen! Aren't these great?" She held a pair of gingerbread man earrings up to her ears.

"Oh, Road! Those suit you perfectly!"

"Really? Thanks! Oh! And you should try on these clips too, they're–" Kanda let the two continue trying on random accessories as he stood to the side. Honestly, he didn't see the point of all these petty little decorations. That would be something he'd never understand.

"Kanda!" Allen ran over to Kanda. "Kanda, look! Try this on!" He held out a couple of small red and green ribbons in his hand.

"What's that supposed to be for?"

"To put up your hair, silly. Here, let me do it." Before Kanda said anything, the albino had already taken out the elastic in his hair, letting his ponytail fall down. His long hair cascaded onto his shoulders, and Allen caressed it with his face. "It's so silky, you should keep it down more often, Kanda."

This was something Kanda did not agree with. "Idiot. If I did that, then a bunch of sleazy bastards would try to hit on me."

"Hmm. Suit yourself~" Allen put his hair back up, this time using a ribbon. He stepped back to look at his work. "Now you're Christmassy!" he beamed. Kanda took the other red and green ribbon from Allen's hands and replaced the ribbon around his neck.

"And now we match." Road, who just came around the aisle corner, saw the sight and squealed out loud.

"Eeeee! So cute!" And then she glomped them.

* * *

They continued around the mall for another half-hour, Kanda and Allen with their matching ribbons, and Road with new peppermint hairclips. As they passed a perfume shop, there was an employee outside giving out samples. Road went over, and Allen and Kanda waited for her.

Behind them, however, was another man dressed as Santa, taller than the one before, and he too, had a small fishing pole with mistletoe at the end. About seven feet away, he cast the line, once again above the couple. In a deep baritone voice through the white beard, he called out, "Mistletoe! Now kiss!" All eyes were on the couple now. Once again, Allen turned to receive his kiss, but once again, it was not received.

"You again!" hissed Kanda, and the gold-eyed Santa sprinted away, Kanda in pursuit.

"No! Kanda, not again!" cried Allen, as he tried to catch up with his lover. Beside him, Road was equally frustrated.

"That stubborn ass! He should just kiss you already!" They caught up to the fuming police officer who had lost the Santa.

"Damn it! Where'd he go? I'll kill the bastard."

"Kanda, killing is not good, especially around this time of the year." chastised Allen.

"Che!" And they continued window shopping once again, this time with a very wary Kanda. They bought random useless items, like abstract glass figurines, where you couldn't tell _what_ it was.

"Don't be like that, Kanda. I bet your father Tiedoll would love this!" Allen was currently trying to convince Kanda to let him buy a third one. It literally looked like someone shot a bunch of holes in a small column of glass

"Che! As if that old man needs anymore of this useless shit!"

"Kanda! It doesn't matter if it's useless! You have to appreciate the art!"

"Yeah, well it's shitty art!"

"Kanda!"

"Peppermint attack!" Road had had enough of their little bickering and decided to intervene, shoving a small peppermint candy in both of their mouths. Allen was quite content by this, but Kanda spat the atrocious pellet out almost immediately.

"The fuck? Don't give me this shit."

"Geez, only you would call candy shit. I wish Skin was here, then we'd eat candy to our hearts content." Road pouted.

"Haha, too bad he's away on business, right?" consoled Allen. "But hey! I'm still here! Though not as bad as yours or Skin's, I've still got a sweet tooth!" He popped another peppermint he stole from Road's pocket into his mouth.

"Hey!" They both broke out into laughter. Kanda sighed and dragged the still giggling duo out of the store.

"Hey! Wait, I still haven't bought that glass sculpture!" Allen protested.

"You don't need it." said Kanda, and he continued to drag them farther away from the shop.

* * *

Within the next hour, they continued to shop, Kanda having bought Allen a stuffed kitten. "It's so cute! Thanks Kanda!" He hugged his new gift in his arms. They browsed around in the toy store, marveling at all the wonderful stuffies. Well, not so much Kanda.

They were currently playing on the mini-race car track that was out to try. There were only two cars, so it was Road against Allen and Kanda. Allen, with his nimble piano fingers, led his team to victory three times in a row. Road was protesting. "Aww, Allen! That's not fair, come to my side!" Allen stuck his tongue out at her.

"Sorry, I'm sticking with my Kanda." They all enjoyed themselves and played casually, having a chance to be childish and have some fun. Unbeknownst to Kanda however, was that he was about to have another mistletoe attack.

Behind a display of dolls, was a lady this time. Dressed as Santa, beard and hat covering up most of her facial features, save for her violet eyes, and armed with the fishing pole, she crept closer to the laughing couple. Casting the line, she cried, "Mistletoe! Now just kiss already!" Kanda however, had seen the mistletoe drop into place before the female Santa had even uttered a word and had already spun around to get his harasser.

"Damn it, Kanda! Is it so hard to kiss me in public?!" Allen and Road once again had to catch up with Kanda. He had chased the Santa out of the toy store and had grabbed onto the edge of her shirt.

"Kyaa! Wait, Kanda, it's me!" Her hat fell off revealing long twin pigtails. She held her hands up in surrender.

"Lenalee…?" She put down the beard and gave a sheepish smile. The two other Santa's and Road and Allen ran over. They also had their hats in their hands and beards down.

The shorter of the two cried out, "Lenalee! Are you alright? Yuu! How dare you try to hurt a lady!"

"Rabbit… Mikk…?" The tall, Portuguese man ignored him and spoke to Allen.

"Boy, I swear I could feel my life flashing before my eyes. Don't ever ask me to help you with your husband ever again." Kanda's eyes were now on the albino.

"Beansprout. Explain." Allen sighed.

"Fine. I asked Lenalee, Lavi, Road, and Tyki to help me try and get you to kiss me in public. But looks like that plan failed, right?" The group chuckled. "Ah well, there's always next year. You're probably tired now, right Kanda? Let's go home."

Allen may have given up, but his friends sure didn't. Road grabbed the mistletoe line and stopped the exiting couple. "Not so fast!" The remaining three created a barricade in front of them, and they all waited expectantly. Kanda looked at the mistletoe, then to Allen, then to the wall of people in front of them. He knew he had been beat this time.

He sighed. "Fuck it."

He cupped Allen's face with his hands and leaned forward, bringing the couple into a sweet kiss, under the mistletoe.

* * *

 **And scene!**

 **So there you have it. Actually the present wrapping part was from what happened to me recently. My dad made me wrap his secret Santa present, and it was a box and cylinder. God it was so frustrating wrapping that. Hehe... XD Thanks to all those who've read my work! I have some other stories I'm piecing together on my computer, though I'm not sure if they'll actually get anywhere. But anyways please review! Happy Hanukkah, merry Christmas, happy Kwanzaa, or what ever you celebrate during the holidays!**

 **Stay tuned and 'till next time,**

 **Au revoir!**


End file.
